Kareoke will never be a sober sport
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm gonna fight the coyote
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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