2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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