I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
