i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
