Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
