I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
