Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
