Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
