Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
