susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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