Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
COCAINE IS GR8
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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