i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
