10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize