I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
