I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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