Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
