she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
