Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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