so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
