found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
