Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I understand Curling. That high.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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