you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He passed out mid-signature
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
