I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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