He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
