I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have feelings that need drinking.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
