That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
