Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
