i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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