You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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