There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize