garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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