if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
