ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
