How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
