im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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