How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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