You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize