I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
