Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Less talking, more tequila
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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