So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
