I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
