Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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