He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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