So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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