i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize