His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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