Nicole vs. Life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
this hospital has no fireball
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
