i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I won the penis lottery.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We're too hungover to prance.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
