I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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