just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
