He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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