I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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