How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
not ubering you a puppy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
