Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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