YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
