So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
