im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
