I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize