You're completely useless in the revolution.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
