I hate your face
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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