Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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