the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
