Got a toothbrush?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
